I've had this yearning to fulfil something recently...almost a need. You see, becoming a mum didn't come easily to me but was something I felt was my destiny. I'll tell you more...please be aware that I'm spilling my heart here!
After many years of trying unsuccessfully we nearly gave up on becoming parents. However many tests we took and cycles we charted, it just didn't seem to be. Like so many who have been in a similar situation all we saw were our friends having babies, first time lucky, it seemed to be so easy for them. Thankfully we never gave up hope and I consider us one of the lucky ones. IVF was tough, ask anyone who has been through it - the emotional rollercoaster is soul destroying. You place so much hope in something with so little hope. But it worked and we had a beautiful son who made our world complete. Fast forward 18 months, and happy with our little perfect family we were shocked to find out I was pregnant naturally, and at the 12 week scan we found out we had been blessed with twins - bigger shock! And our family is now big and full of love. So it has been since having children that I felt the need to document their days and create books of our family together.
You see, I lost my Mum as a baby - only 18 months old - she passed away from cancer. I'm blessed to have a solid caring family around me that helped my Dad raise me and now a Step mum who has helped me through the awkward parts of growing up and still continues to be there for me. I have photos of my mum which I cherish. Those ones of her holding me as a baby are my only memories of a time I just wasn't able to remember. I look just like her and I see her in my children's faces.
I can't shake the thought that if I didn't have these photos how would I know her? I'm rarely in photos with my kiddos. Every now and then I ask my husband to grab the camera (pop it on auto for him ha!) so I'm in the photo books too. And I generally am waaaayy too critical of how I look, how much baby weight I'm still carrying three years on, how big my nose is, and why do my legs look that chunky?!
But do you know what?
My kids don't care about any of that. Because at the end of the day they love me regardless of how I look, they see past my insecurities and to them I'm the world. Grumpy today Mum? No worries, I'll hug you anyway, you're always forgiven immediately, no grudges held.
I get that being a mum is hard. We frequently feel under appreciated and tired. We worry constantly about our little ones and if we're doing okay by them, raising them to be amazing little people we desperately want them to be. We put ourselves under way too much pressure to be everything to everyone. We often neglect ourselves in favour of looking after others. But aren't the rewards totally worth it?! The smiles on their little faces when we pick them up from school. Those little cuddles in the evening before bed and the stories of magical lands and creatures we read to them allow us enter a world of innocence and freedom with them in our imaginations. They help us see the bigger picture and are the reason for us to make the day ahead great and memorable.
This is where this need to fulfil something stems from. Being mum is everything to me and I know it is to so many others. So I want to bind my two passions - motherhood and photography. I want to photograph the smiles, the tears, the hugs and sweet little eskimo kisses. How the sun dances through their hair as they laugh with you dancing and singing to Moana (that's our fave).
Let's meet up this spring and summer and make some memories for them - because that's what your photos are really about - here's to creating a beautiful legacy for them.
I'd love to hear about your journey - how does being a mum make you feel? What moments do your children give you that make your heart sing?!